Butchblog

And how NOT to deal with them

I’ve read that one of the main reasons people move their place of residence, even when they love their home and neighborhood, is because of disagreements with their near-by neighbors. There might be boundary disputes, or political differences, or loud wind-chimes, but the major reason people feel forced to give up their homes are noisy neighbors and their pets, and their unwillingness to change or modify that behavior. Such scenarios can quickly devolve into open hostility – or worse.

            In my own current case, (you knew I was getting to that) it is a loudly barking dog that has driven me to distraction. Though not, thankfully, to the point of deciding to move. In fact, these current offenders and their giant hound, are only temporary residents and will hopefully soon be gone. We live in a lovely, almost-always quiet neighborhood, and it’s only in the summer-time when vacationers invade, that our peace can be shattered by folks who have no stake in our town and, apparently no need to be considerate. (Note: This accusation of bad behavior does not apply to all vacationers. Most cause no problems at all. )

            Of course their likely departure didn’t stop me, after multiple instances of crazed barking, from standing on our upper deck and screaming across at them, “Shut that fucking dog up!” Which led to an extended shouting match with these interlopers, ending only when my much more level-headed wife pulled me away and dressed me down for my admittedly childish (mannish?) behavior.

            But to be honest, that outburst felt somewhat freeing, an outlet for all the wrongs I felt enacted on me over the years. All the bad neighbors, all the howling mutts, the screaming children, the bad girlfriends. A symbolic howling at the moon. And, at least for a few hours the barking stopped. And I breathed a little easier. (By the way, I don’t hate dogs, I’ve had a couple of great ones myself, but I sometimes do hate those pet owners who can’t be bothered to train or monitor their animals.)

            This current incident, though, has made me more aware of a serious personal failing. I too often contain and suppress my feelings. It’s not healthy and inevitably leads to an uncalled-for outburst, when those feelings can no longer be contained. And too often, that outburst (though much less frequent these days) is sometimes – often times – let loose in the wrong direction.

            Yes, people, neighbors, strangers can be uncaring and thoughtless. People can be a royal pain in the tuchis, but it’s unhealthy to let their bad manners cause me to lose my bearings. Which I certainly did last night and still feel badly about it. I’m not about to apologize to them. They’ll soon be gone. But I am going to work on finding better ways to deal with my anger.